Kindness matters. We easily understand the social benefit of kindness in building relationships and focusing on positivity. But I’ll bet you’ve never considered that there are definite benefits for your health as well. The reality is that acts of kindness provide definite health benefits for us...the gift that truly gives back.
Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. The act of being kind produces a natural reciprocation that reinforces relationships and creates connections. These relationships and connections calm the nervous system and reduce stress hormones, which improves health.
Kindness is Reciprocal
The person you showed kindness to feels better...and you feel better for making that person’s day a little brighter. The act of kindness results in positive interpersonal connection, which results in lowered blood pressure and a reduction in cortisol. Cortisol is the stress hormone that affects your stress levels and does damage to your body when heightened. Kindness also releases serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins in the body, giving you a sense of positive emotional state as well as a host of other benefits including improved memory and better sleep.
Kindness Builds Relationships
People are meant to be in community with each other, and human beings are healthier when they are in relationships. Social connection gives you a sense of well-being and reduces the likelihood of mental illness. Simply having people to talk to, spend time with and relate to offers a sense of calm and emotional stability. Some studies show that isolation can be as detrimental to your health as smoking, obesity, and high blood pressure.
The Opposite is Also True
Consider for a moment, the opposite. The reverse of kindness is conflict, and people with a tendency towards conflict experience stress and anxiety. Your body increases the production of cortisol and if it is present continuously, there will be a negative effect on your health: high blood pressure, digestive problems, headaches, weight gain, depression, and more. Plus, nobody likes to be around a person who is always looking for conflict. The result is social isolation and depression - which reinforces a person’s negative outlook and perpetuates an unhealthy cycle.
Simple Steps Toward Developing a Lifestyle of Kindness
Fortunately, kindness is simple and accessible to literally anyone, anywhere. Here are a few suggestions:
Compliment Others
As you go about your day, simply be aware of what is happening around you. Notice what people are doing. If they are doing something that is even a standard part of their job or routine, go up and compliment them. Say thank you. Tell them that you appreciate their effort. Set a goal to compliment someone every day and give one specific detail about what you observe since that really brings it to life. Then if possible, wait for them to acknowledge your compliment. Their acknowledgment is the moment where you get the health benefit. Once you start noticing, you’ll enjoy watching for people to compliment: a waiter/waitress, a store clerk, a janitor, a mom or dad with their kids, a teenager...the opportunities are endless.
Help Someone
Be on the lookout for people who need your help. It could be as simple as letting someone go in front of you in a checkout line or helping a neighbor carry in their groceries. Watch for opportunities to assist someone and step up with a smile. If they acknowledge your assistance, that's where a bond occurs and you create a positive connection with that person. While you're helping them, say a few words and have a small conversation. That's part of the social bond. For some people, nonverbal communication is more comfortable for many...and the fact that they allow you to help them is, in itself, acknowledgment of your kind act and a nonverbal "thank you."
Be Kind to Yourself
To develop a lifestyle of kindness, you need to first be kind to yourself. Too often, we are harsh if not downright mean to ourselves. If that’s you, consider this: If you can be kind to others, then treat yourself like a stranger and be kind to yourself. Tell yourself that you deserve kindness - from yourself to yourself. Doing so takes intentional awareness. Pay attention to your internal dialogue. Ask yourself, “How would I greet a stranger who did this to myself and said to me what I just said to myself?” Being unkind to yourself is one of the most destructive activities...often associated with perfectionism. And the antidote to perfectionism is to give up the pursuit of perfection. Abandon perfect. Reach instead for 'outstanding'. At the end of the day, there’s no such thing as perfect. Acknowledge for yourself that while your efforts may not have been perfect...they were pretty darn good...and give yourself credit. The other antidote to perfectionism is to learn to laugh at yourself, at the impossible folly of trying to be perfect. To be a perfectionist and always mad with yourself makes it difficult to be kind and friendly with other people, which causes a type of social isolation - which is not healthy.
Kindness matters...to your health, to the well-being of others, to your world. If you'd like a visual reminder of what this means, check out this link.
